


A sudden proposal

by Vinushuka



Series: One year with Apocalyptica [27]
Category: Apocalyptica
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 10:56:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11439399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinushuka/pseuds/Vinushuka
Summary: Perttu is struggling with his guilt for leaving Anna to manage on her own with their coming baby. Eventually Johanna offers her help in finding a nanny for Lumi. Anna urges Perttu to tell Johanna about his relationship with Eicca and he takes Anna's advise seriously. After a manyfolded discussion with Johanna Perttu ends up doing something he didn't even dream about...





	1. New nanny candidate

## New nanny candidate (1)

I must admit that the discussion I had with Anna after my return from Mexico was difficult for me. Her pain made my heart bleed although it had been her choice to let me go. Was I a complete asshole when I didn’t want to marry the woman that carried my child? I wasn’t even sure if I had managed to convey her the message that I loved her and Lumi deeply and would do my best to take care of them.

      After our meeting I had to sit a while in my car crying because I was so disappointment in myself. It was fortunate that I had to brace myself and prepare to meet Johanna right after that. The future was ahead of me, not behind. I would find out a way to fit Anna, Lumi and Johanna into my life no matter what other people thought about it. Kirsi had accepted my relationship with Eicca and I had learned to accept the fact that Patrik was a part of Anna’s life. Therefore I was sure Johanna would one day accept Anna and Lumi as part of my world.

      Anna had managed to convince me about my fatherhood to the extent that taking the DNA test didn’t feel so important anymore. The test just meant another agonizing two weeks of waiting. Maybe I deserved the pain after doubting Anna. Anyways the time of the test had been settled and I would turn up at the lab like good boy. I hadn’t yet told Johanna about the test mainly because of my tight schedules but perhaps I should do it now. I wouldn’t like to betray her trust by leaving something like that as a secret.

      I was still considering my options when I arrived at the stables a little late. I saw Johanna pacing uneasily in front of the stables. I had hardly parked my car when she hurried to meet me.

“I thought you wouldn’t come”, she mumbled and dived directly into my arms.

“What made you think that?” I wondered and caressed her silky hair.

“There are so many things going on in your life right now. Maybe riding lessons aren’t the most important of them.”

“Believe me, they are. I need my exercise and you”, I reassured her. “But sorry that I am late. I had to see Anna first. We are taking a paternity test tomorrow.”

“Oh, is there some other man involved?” Johanna asked sounding surprised.

“Well yes. She dated Patrik Stranden at the time she started to work for us.”

“Is he Eicca’s Patrik or someone else?”

“Yes, the same guy.”

“But he’s so young, around thirty or something”, Johanna remarked obviously intrigued by the age difference between Anna and Patrik.

“You don’t say. He’s young and beautiful and has an amazing long hair”, I commented feeling a sting of jealousy in my heart.

“I thought he is gay…”

“I think he has a thing for boys but for some reason Anna was an exception. I don’t understand the connection they have but it is very strong.”

“When will you get the test results? It must be a pretty nerve-wrecking wait.”

“It’s only two weeks. I can manage that knowing that the odds are on my side.”

“I’m proud that you love your daughter already now so much. You will make a good father”, Johanna whispered and stroke my cheek with her hand. “You’re a good man.”

“In the beginning I was very doubtful. I thought it would be impossible to combine touring with family life. Both Eicca and Franky convinced me that it can be done.”

“I think we can take care of one baby girl but Anna needs a nanny for sure because you’re away most of the time.”

“I know that but we haven’t found a suitable candidate yet. She told me that she has asked Patrik to help her but that’s probably not a working long term solution.”

“I might know a person who could help us. She’s a young relative of mine. I can ask if she’s interested”, Johanna proposed to my surprise.

“Please do. That would let Patrik off the hook. He doesn’t seem to be able to say no to Anna”, I grinned and gave a big wet kiss on Johanna’s forehead. I loved the way she used the word we in her speech.

      I was so relieved and happy after our discussion that I thought I could fly with my horse. Johanna had to remind me several times that I should take it easy. It wouldn’t be wise to break my leg just before the USA tour.


	2. Advise of a mother lion

## Advice of a mother lion (2)

The visit to the DNA-test laboratory on Wednesday was a very straightforward and quick event. Anna had to give a blood sample but even that didn’t take long. When the procedure was over we headed to a restaurant to have some lunch before I would have to attend the meetings at National Opera.

       Our relief after this important event reflected into our mood; we were telling jokes and laughing our hearts out like never before. When we were finishing our lunch I told Anna that Johanna might know a suitable nanny candidate and would talk with her as soon as possible. Anna seemed at first a bit surprised about my news but then she smiled and thanked me and Johanna for the effort. She wasn’t alone in this matter.

      My second riding session on Thursday went smoother than the first one as my mood was stable and happy. I had more than a week time for myself and my loved ones. The real hassle would start at the end of March when we would finally release our new album Shadowmaker. I would start my part of promotion visits at Warsaw with Franky and then continue to London and Berlin with Apocalyptica. We would be back in Finland on 2nd of April to attend Voice of Finland the next day. On following Sunday we would fly to USA to tour together with Sixx: A.M. and Japanese band VAMPS.

      Johanna had discussed the child care issue with her cousin Nina and it seemed that she could take care of Lumi at least for four months starting from June or even earlier if required. Johanna gave me her contact information so that Anna could talk about the details with her in person. I was relieved that I had finally some concrete help to offer to Anna.

      Anna was raking her front yard when I arrived at her house on Saturday afternoon. The tall birches had shed loads of twigs all over the place during the windy winter months. The snow had now melted revealing all the debris on the ground.

“Take it easy, gardener” I remarked when I hurried over to hug her.

“Don’t worry, this is good exercise for me. Besides Lumi seems to like my regular movements during raking” Anna laughed and gave me a kiss. “You look very perky today. Rest and riding sessions have done you good.”

“Yeah, in many respects”, I admitted. “Is there something I can help you with here?”

“Yes, you can take the wheelbarrow and collect these twig piles into it. After that you can take them to the compost”, she instructed me and tugged my ponytail gently. I loved the way she touched me always when it was possible.

“Yes, sir!” I grinned and headed to the garden shed to pick up the wheelbarrow.

      Sauna was conveniently ready when we came in from the garden our cheeks red of cool spring air. We climbed carefully down the steep stairs leading to the basement where sauna was located. When we were undressing in the dressing room I just couldn’t help admiring Anna’s body. Her belly was getting huge and her breasts were irresistible.

“Holy moly, I love the way you look”, I sighed and grabbed her into my arms.

“You don’t look bad either”, Anna giggled and wrapped her fingers around my thing. “You have lost some weight lately”, she added.

“I thought you would never notice”, I teased her although I had been worried that the results of my diet weren’t visible enough. “It’s too easy to get fat and too difficult to get rid of the extra weight”, I sighed knowing that there were still couple of kilos to go.

“I will have the same problem after Lumi is born. Luckily nursing helps to lose weight”, Anna commented.

When we were sitting on sauna benches enjoying the soft heat of the stove I told her the good news.

“The nanny candidate Johanna knows is interested in the job. Johanna gave me her phone number and e-mail so you can talk to her directly.”

“That’s great! I’m not sure Patrik is very eager to help me all things considered”, Anna said.” I will call her first thing next week and arrange a meeting with her. Unfortunately I can’t pay very much to her.”

“Please don’t worry about the money. I will take care of that”, I promised.

“You must convey my thanks to Johanna”, Anna said after a short consideration.

“Will do. I think you two should meet some day. I’m sure you would like her, too”, I proposed slightly nervous about Anna’s reaction.

“Yeah, maybe”, she said sounding downcast again. The hurt inside was still there and she was struggling with it.

\-----

      During our dinner we talked mostly about Anna’s gardening plans and our coming tour with Sixx:A.M. and VAMPS Anna was an eager fan on Japanese metal bands and was familiar with VAMPS and their music. “Their style is a bit noisy and simple to my liking. I think they would need some more sophistication in their melodies. Maybe you could do something nice together with them. I like Hyde’s voice, though”, Anna pondered as we were collecting the dishes away.

“We’ll see. There will be plenty of time to get to know these guys when we are on tour together for two weeks. I really hope everything goes well. These tours are always full of surprises and mishaps.”

“Yeah, don’t let Franky fall off the stage this time”, Anna snickered. “By the way, will he be coming to Finland before your promo-tour or will he join you at Warsaw?”

“We will meet there but he will come to Turku with us to sing in Voice of Finland. We will perform Cold Blood there.”

“Does Johanna know about you and Franky or more importantly about you and Eicca?” Anna surprised me with her straightforward question.

“No, I haven’t told her yet”, I replied feeling embarrassed.

“I think you’re making a mistake if you don’t tell her. Eicca is so big part of your life that it cannot go unnoticed. You could maybe keep Franky out of the picture but not Eicca.”

“I know that but how do I break it to her without scaring her away?”

“I wasn’t scared when I realized what was going on between you and Eicca. She’s a grown up woman. Bisexuality shouldn’t be an unknown phenomenon to her. Why should it scare her if she knows how kind person you are?”

“I’m afraid that I will lose her just when I found her”, I complained.

“Perttu Kivilaakso, you are one hell of a tough person to love! She will have to share you with me and Lumi, Eicca and Franky and god knows how many fans around the world. If she cannot accept that your relationship will be doomed!” Anna boomed slamming the table with her fist.

“Okay, okay, I get it! But please don’t get angry. You will scare Lumi shouting at me like that.”

“I know, she already kicked me twice”, Anna mumbled looking repentant.

“Let’s go upstairs to calm down a bit”, I proposed to my mother lion.

“Will you stay the night?” Anna asked her eyes lighting up.

“Yes, I will”, I promised guessing what she had in mind. I couldn’t resist the thought of folding my arms around her delicious body and sucking those dark nipples. Other things could wait for a while.


	3. Confessions

## Confessions (3)

I took Anna’s advice seriously. I would have to tell Johanna about me and Eicca as soon as possible so that we would have time to sort out any issues before our tour. Anna had her Japanese lesson on Monday so I could meet Johanna then. It wouldn’t be wise to leave it to my Tuesday’s lesson.

      Johanna sounded a bit surprised when I called her and asked if I could come by on Monday evening to discuss matters of importance with her.

“Of course you can come. I just hope it isn’t anything serious”, she replied sounding worried.

“No, it’s nothing serious, just important as I said. See you then.” I replied and finished the call.

      Johanna would probably worry about our meeting anyhow no matter what I told her beforehand. It was enough that I was troubled, so troubled that I lost most of my sleep that night. I spent the night tossing and turning in my bed trying to figure out the right words to tell her that I loved to fuck with guys too. With my mind’s eye I could see the disgust on her face and her recoiling from my touch when I tried to embrace her. Was I risking our future here?

      I was very close to panic when I stood behind Johanna’s door and rang the doorbell.

“Lovely to see you again”, she told me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Nice to see you too. Anna sends her thanks to you. She was planning to call Nina today to agree on all the details. I hope everything has gone smoothly”, I babbled too nervous to figure out anything else to say.

“Would you like something to drink, juice, coffee, tea?” Johanna asked after I had sat down on her sofa stiff as a flagpole.

“A juice would be nice”, I said not wanting to waste time in cooking anything. I just needed this to be over as quickly as possible.

“There we are”, Johanna gave me a full glass of orange juice and sat down by my side. ”Now please tell me what this is all about.”

“You know I and Eicca have had this close relationship for a long time”, I started cold sweat spreading on my forehead.

“Yeah, of course. He’s your band mate, fellow composer and probably your best friend”, Johanna replied slightly unsure about what I was getting at.

“That’s all true but we are more that best friends, we are also lovers”, I spitted out the difficult words out of my mouth.

“Do you mean that you’ve made love with him?” Johanna asked after a short silence.

“Yes, for several years”, I confirmed.

“But you’ve been married and engaged to a woman and then there’s Anna?”

“I’m bisexual”, I said the word that I had always avoided. I hated being labeled like I had a disease or something.

“I wondered when some people laughed at me and said I was wasting my time with you. They probably thought you were gay”, Johanna smiled at me and grabbed my hand. “I’m happy that you told me. I love you the way you are and that’s all that matters.”

      I started to relax when Johanna’s reactions sounded positive. Maybe I should tell her everything now that she knew about Eicca.

“Eicca is not the only guy in my life. When he left me for Franky Mikko was there to support me. We became lovers shortly after that. Our relationship is now over and he’s living with Mikael at the moment. On our Caribbean cruise I had Franky as my cabin mate and we kind of seduced one another back then”, I confessed and blushed. I really sounded like I was some kind of gigolo.

“Hmm, you’ve been very busy with all your boyfriends”, Johanna laughed. “Do you think you can find a time slot for me somewhere in between?”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds but I see Eicca now and then, especially now that Patrik broke up with him”, I assured Johanna.

“That’s all right. You two are the heart of Apocalyptica. I don’t want to mess that up.”

“You’re not messing anything up. Eicca is fully aware of what I’m planning with you and approves it. He has a happy marriage with Kirsi and two sons. That’s what I call life”, I concluded our discussion.


	4. A sudden proposal

## A sudden proposal (4)

I felt light as a feather now that all my gory secrets were out in the open. We didn’t talk about my drinking problems but that was pretty obvious and public knowledge at the moment. I didn’t have any more skeletons in my closet as far as I knew.

      I stood up from the sofa to take my empty glass back to the kitchen. “Thanks for the juice. I think that was all I had to say at the moment. Maybe I should leave you to think about it. We will see again tomorrow”, I said feeling the panic creeping in again as Johanna didn’t say anything. She just sat on the sofa looking thoughtful.

“Please don’t leave”, she finally broke the silence when I returned from the kitchen. “Would you like to make love with me tonight? I know I said that we should wait but I don’t feel that way anymore.”

      I gazed into her dark eyes feeling happy but confused. This was the moment I had dreamed about for the several weeks. I pulled her closer and folded my arms around her slender body burying my face into her hair. Her scent made my head dizzy. “Yes I would if that’s what you want”, I whispered in her ear hardly able to speak.

      Johanna didn’t reply, she just took my hand and lead me to her bedroom. I stood still when she unbuttoned my shirt and dropped it at our feet. “I love your tattoos”, she whispered sliding her hand down my arm and stopping at Arwen and Aragorn on my side. “Marrying Aragorn was a tough choice for Arwen. I’m not sacrificing my immortality by marrying you but it’s not piece of cake either.”

“Are you saying that you would marry me?” I asked after my heart had skipped a few beats.

“You haven’t asked yet but maybe I would”, she replied and smiled mischievously.

It took only a second to consider what I did next. I kneeled on the floor without a shirt and my eyes in tears. “Johanna, will you marry me?”

“Yes, Perttu, I will marry you for better and for worse till death do us apart”, she replied solemnly.

      I knew I should have stood up and embraced her but I couldn’t. I had lost all strength from my legs. I just sat on my knees and cried like a baby hiding my face in my hands.

“Oh jeez, marrying me can’t be that terrible”, Johanna whispered and kneeled down to me stroking my hair gently.

“I’m sorry but this is just too much for me. I never thought you would say yes to me”, I sniffled trying to control my overwhelming happiness.

“But I did. Isn’t it customary to kiss the bride?”

“I guess so”, I replied and grabbed her lovely face into my hands. “One kiss for Mrs. Kivilaakso coming up.”

      It must have been a funny sight; two people kneeling on the floor kissing each other passionately but that’s exactly what we did. Her lips were soft and tasted a bit like strawberries. I wanted to kiss them forever but my knees were starting to protest.

“Maybe we should get up and continue this in bed”, I proposed. ”Where were we before I found myself on the floor?”

“I was stripping off your shirt but I don’t know what you intended to do”, Johanna snickered.

“I think I was planning to rid you of that T-shirt of yours somehow”, I replied tugging the front of her shirt with my fingers.

“Go ahead then”, Johanna replied raising her hands up in the air. I pulled the tee over her head and dropped it on top of my own shirt.

“Hmm. You look lovely”, I mumbled as I traced the skin of her breast with my fingertips over the cups of her bra. Her breathing hitched when I slipped my hand inside her bra and cupped her breast in my hand.

“Please take the bra off “, Johanna whispered breathing heavily.

I did what I was asked to just to find myself stunned by a pair of the most beautiful breasts in the world.

“These are almost too much for an old man like me”, I complained and rubbed her nipples with my fingertips.

“Old men don’t wear jeans in bed as far as I know”, Johanna grinned and opened the belt of my jeans. “Why don’t you get rid of those while I take off mine”, she proposed.

She was much quicker than me in removing her jeans. My balance was lousy and my knees stiff after spending all that time on the floor. “Briefs too”, she ordered when I was hesitating what to do. “I want to see all of you.”

      I had no choice but to obey her even though I felt slightly embarrassed under her scrutiny. I was very conscious about the extra kilos I still had.

“You are my angel”, she sighed and stepped closer burying herself into my arms. Her bare skin felt wonderful against mine, so soft and silky. I forgot my self-consciousness when her hands wandered down my back to my behind. For some reason her words brought back the memory of last autumn when I joked with Anna about me being a fallen angel whose wings were in repair at that moment. With that came the sadness of a song I had written when I returned from our catastrophic preproduction session in Nashville.

“What is it?” Johanna asked when I took deep breath to banish the sad memories. ”Am I doing something wrong?”

“No, it’s not that. This angel thing just brought back things I would rather forget.”

“Would you rather be called something else?” Johanna asked. “To me you are angelic with your long hair and slender body. You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever known.”

“You can call me anything you like, even raccoon as some of my fans do. They call Paavo a Cake and Eicca King of elves”, I joked feeling already better.

“Why would they call you a raccoon?” Johanna wondered.

“Because of my ridiculous eye makeup”, I confessed.

“I can teach you how to make a decent eye makeup before the next tour”, Johanna promised. ”But enough of that. Let’s go to bed.”


End file.
